The Practice of Freedom: Three Core Elements
Over the 25 years that I’ve been developing my own practice, I have come back, again and again, to three central elements: self-study, play, and nonattachment. These are often misunderstood (especially nonattachment!), so I wanted to take a moment to explain how I see them and how I use them in my own practice and my coaching.
Self-Study
Self-study, or svadhyaya in the original Sanskrit, is one of the ten ethical practices that underlie all yoga practice, according to the Yoga Sutras. Sri Swami Satchidananda, the author of one of the most popular commentaries on the Yoga Sutras, has written that one of the most powerful things we can do is to “make one vow.” In other words, rather than trying to do every single practice from every single tradition of yoga at the same time, we should identify one practice we can commit to on a deep level, and find out where it takes us. Ghandi and Martin Luther King, Jr. were both examples of this, choosing ahimsa, or non-harming, as their one vow.
If I have “one vow,” it is svadhyaya. I have been studying myself intensively since I was a child. I am fascinated by the study of not only my own Self, but the emerging, complicated, and beautiful Selves of everyone I meet. Self-study is one of those practices that appears simple on the surface but offers layers and layers and layers to be peeled away, to reveal deeper understanding and self-awareness.
This is the cornerstone of my own practice, and it’s central to my coaching practice as well. Without a clear understanding of who you really are and what you really want—underneath all the expectations of the world and all the habits you’ve developed to cope with life—you can’t know what will bring you joy. Self-study is a lifelong practice with incredible potential for liberation. This is how you know where your joy lives.
Play
Lila (“lee-la”) is often translated as divine joy. In many early texts, especially in Hinduism, the universe itself is said to play. Why? Because everything is already created! Life is already underway! What is left for the universal mind to do? Why should it do anything? So it plays!
Divine play is absolutely central to my concept of transness and to my practice as an individual and as a coach. In my experience, transness is itself a form of divine play. I mean, look at what transness does. It opens you up to try out new ways of being in the world. It encourages you to experiment and challenge yourself and create something unique. It’s an opportunity to play with the elements of your own Self in the same way you might play with paints, or toys, or fabric. In the world of divine play, the Self is an emerging and fluid being with an infinite capacity for new shapes and new ways of being.
Taking a playful approach to the discovery of the Self opens up whole new ways of thinking. It tends to help us let go of our habits and fears, creates a sense of optimism, and shows us that there are more options that we realized. Powerful stuff!
Nonattachment
This one is very often misunderstood as being “detached” or “not caring.” Not at all! The practice of nonattachment is absolutely necessary for play to happen—but it’s the very opposite of “not caring” or being detached. Nonattachment is the ability to hold things loosely: identity, self-concept, expectations, rules, habits, and all the other stuff we carry around to protect or define ourselves.
When we are able to step back, even a little bit, from all the stuff we have identified with, then we can play. We can say, “What if I do this?” or “What if that were true?” just like a child. To be childlike, in this practice, is to re-open ourselves to all the many, many possibilities of living.
One of the biggest challenges for me in coming to understand my own transness was that I didn’t realize just how many ways there are to live. Nonattachment lets us step back from the ways of being we are holding onto, so that we can see the vast universe of possibility.
There are no rules or limits to what you are “allowed” to be, but attachment and fear tell you the opposite. Practicing nonattachment is the path to letting go of the “shoulds” and letting yourself just be.
Bringing It All Together: A Cycle and a Spiral
In order to see and study who we really are, we must have the opportunity to play with and explore all the options. To do that safely and without fear, we must practice nonattachment. Together, these three practices create an incredibly powerful opening up of the self, and the potential for freedom.
The three elements work together in a cycle: Nonattachment is the state of mind that allows us to step back from our identifications so we can try new identities and behaviors. Play creates new options, new opportunities, and new ways of thinking about ourselves and the world. And self-study is the reflective practice by which we capture, express, and share the lessons we’ve learned and the new selves we have brought into being.
As we go through this cycle, we emerge into new levels of understanding and freedom—and begin again. Like the Fool in the Tarot, we come back again and again to openness and what the Zen Buddhists call “beginner’s mind.” At the beginning of each new cycle, we are more open, more expansive, and more self-aware than before, creating a spiral of expanding freedom and joy.
The more we are able to practice nonattachment, the more open we will be to play. The more we reflect on our play from that nonattached mindset, the more self-knowledge we gain—and the more we can open, expand, and create in alignment with our purpose and our true Self.
If this sounds good to you, reach out! I’d love to work with you. In the meantime, seek joy, practice liberation for all, and know that you are all right.
